is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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