a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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