were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
