My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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