Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
