You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
