mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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