This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
