My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
