True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
is it fun? or sober?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
