TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Randomize
