you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Randomize
