It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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