trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
