i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
