soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
