i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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