that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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