What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I will be naked everywhere
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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