This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
