end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
operation harelip BJ is a go
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
In America we eat man semen.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize
