playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
