ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
