We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
