bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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