Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
