Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
