singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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