I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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