he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
