I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
