how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
There's always time for handjobs
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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