I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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