so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
