he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
