She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
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