And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
