he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
