i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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