If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
