I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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