first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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