'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
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