Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
