I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize