I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
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