I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
