forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
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