what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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