So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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