it hurts more in the daytime
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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