I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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