I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize